Can't Do Without You
by xxxlenaleexxx
Summary: Spock has something on his mind. Nyota wants to know what. Spyota!


Can't Do Without You

 _AN: So recently I was listening to Can't Do Without You by CARIBOU, and like with everything else in my life automatically applied it to Spyota... this is the result!_

 _Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!_

Uhura sat at her station and watched out of the corner of her eye as Spock rose, pulled the small memory device from his pocket and headed for the turbo lift. She had no idea what had prompted him to suddenly begin taking the daily 15-minute break provided for each bridge officer. She suspected it had something to do with whatever was on the small device that he'd begun to carry around with him.

Uhura was curious.

She wanted to know just what Spock found so captivating. Whatever it was it must have been…stimulating. Whenever he returned to the bridge her eyes were his sole focus. Forgetting about the memory device she shivered in anticipation at the heated look she knew he'd send her when he made his way back to his station.

******SPYOTA******FOREVER******SPYOTA******FOREVER******SPYOTA******FOREVER*******SPYOTA******FOREVER*******SPYOTA******

A handful of days passed, before Nyota's curiosity reached it's peaked. Over the week he'd worked in quick 4 minute breaks throughout the entire day, focus completely given to whatever he was listening to on that damned device.

Twice she'd woken in the middle of the night, wrapped in his arms and pressed tightly against his heated skin, ears picking up a feint beat. More sleep than awake she'd dismissed it until she woke early on the second morning and caught him pulling the tiny ear piece from his ear.

"Good morning, ashayam." He breathed kissing her head softly before leaning over to place the small device, and the PADD that he had been working on, back onto the small table beside the bed.

He'd been listening to it while working? Hadn't he told her once that such practice could not possibly be beneficial, as it would become a distraction to the person attempting to focus. That it was _illogical_? That was it. She'd had it. What was on that damned device that he listened to it even as he _slept,_ and while he _worked_?

"Spock." She began firmly, trying to ignore the soft hands that begun to run down her arms.

"Yes." He responded, ignoring her tone, slipping warm fingers around the curve of her hip. His eyes blazing into hers was almost her undoing, but she strengthened her resolve.

"What are where you listening to?"

He stilled at her words, eyes dropping from hers to the bed. She watched him forcefully relax as he came to some conclusion.

"It is nothing of importance." He dismissed leaning in. She stopped him before he could bury his nose in her neck. If he went any further she wouldn't be able to focus, and she _really_ wanted to know.

"It's important to _me_." She pouted leaning back to catch his eyes again. "You've been listening to it so much lately. It must be of relative importance if you're inclined to listen to it while your sleeping, while you're _working_." She stressed, calling him out on the strange new, illogical habit.

She started when he suddenly became warmer, his face flushing a light green, tips of his ears hot with a darker stain. He pulled away from her slowly, resuming the sitting position he'd been in when she'd awoken and she mirrored him.

"Truly, it is nothing of-."

"Spock." She interrupted him, stopping short of demanding he tell her. She didn't want to overstep her boundaries. She didn't want to invade his privacy. It's not like she was jealous of what was on the device. Except that maybe she _was_ a little jealous about what was on the device. His reticence to share it with her only made things worse.

Still…if he didn't want to share it, wasn't that his right? If she was truthful she knew she would regret forcing him to tell her something just because she was feeling a bit insecure.

Now filled with growing shame Nyota shifted uneasily and cleared her throat.

"I'm sorry, Spock." She apologized. With a soft reassuring smile she rested her hand onto his bicep. "That was rude of me. Of course you don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

For good measure she leaned to lay a tender kiss on his lips, making sure he could feel her love and devotion to him through the hand on his arm. Then she slipped from the bed to head to the bathroom in preparation for her day.

"Nyota."

She stopped and turned at her name. She saw his eyes fill with heat, his gaze wandering over her body before looking away almost sheepishly.

"It is a song."

Her heart increased with anticipation. He was going to tell her after all!

"A song?" she stuttered in disbelief. All this time he'd been listening to a _song?_ She'd thought it'd been someone reading an article or a book series but not a song. Schooling her features, she modulated her voice into a calm tone. "What kind of song?"

"A 21st century Earth song."

Her eyebrows shot up yet again in surprise. She expected it to be Vulcan. Perhaps a remnant from Vulcan that had been recovered. But it was an Earth song? A 21st century Earth song?! She tried to think of popular songs from the era and came up with nothing.

"A 21st century Earth song?" she asked, approaching the bed and seating herself beside him. She waited for him to raise a disapproving brow at her repetitive and illogical replies. Instead she found him blushing once again, eyes unwilling to meet hers, realizing belatedly that he was _embarrassed_.

"May I listen to it?" she asked gently.

He stiffened again before jerking his head in an accent. She sat patiently as he reached out for the small memory device, quickly adjusting the setting so that it would play out loud and not through his earpiece.

As she listened her brows came down in confusion as she attempted to try to understand why Spock was spending so much time listening to such a loud, repetitive and _illogical_ piece of music.

A minute into the song he ran a gentle hand down her arm to her wrist before linking them in the ozh'esta, strengthening their connection.

And then she understood. Could see how the wild tones and the irregular beat, pounding in a chaotic illogical rhythm, mirrored perfectly the complete mess of sensations he felt for her. Feelings that he could never adequately voice or even begin to untangle. It was everything he felt for her, the complete incomprehensible mass, laid bare in such simple repeating sentences.

As the notes faded Spock finally met her eyes and she suddenly understood the heat that had been behind them every time he'd looked her way after a quick listen to this song. The heat that filled them even now.

"Nyota. Ashayam." He breathed, voice too deep, too rough. "I could not abide life without you."

The hot tears that had begun building overflowed at his words. It was a declaration, one of love, even more meaningful than the word itself.

She felt his alarm at her tears and she shook her head, poured her thoughts and feelings into him. Helped him to see that she understood the _weight_ behind those five words, understood what he was saying to her and that the feeling was mutual. So very, _very_ mutual.

Silently she asked him to replay the song. Soon the bass began thumping the foreign beat throughout his quarters and she took a moment to let the simple words fill her every thought before wrapping herself around his body with resolute intent to show him just _how much_ she liked it.

******SPYOTA******FOREVER******SPYOTA******FOREVER******SPYOTA******FOREVER*******SPYOTA******FOREVER*******SPYOTA********

Two years later Uhura stifled a powerful sigh and slumped in her seat. There wasn't really anything else she could do but wait. A skill she had never truly excelled in.

She tried to comfort herself with the fact that they weren't truly in danger. After their ship had gone down the away team had stumbled across what sounded like an abandoned communications center. From there they'd been able to identify the cause for the shuttle's malfunction.

Somehow a low level EMT was being emitted across the entire planet. Located in the upper atmosphere it seemed to act as a barrier, thought they were unsure why. They'd been able to restore power to the shuttle after passing through the EMT field but were effectively marooned until they could figure out how to break through the barrier long enough for Scotty to beam them out.

Normally they'd continue to explore the area but a dangerous electrical storm had developed in the time it took them to figure out how to contact the ship and they were confined to the small building until the storm abated.

The relief Uhura felt when his voice had first come through her earpiece had left her light-headed for a moment. She knew it was unnecessary to keep a com link open when they weren't in any danger but she'd relayed their transmission into a private channel anyway. For the last sixteen hours she'd been silently monitoring their conversation, leaving her other ear open to any other incoming transitions. Three hours ago the away team had gone silent and an hour after that all other communication had gradually abated.

With Sulu in the chair and nothing for them to do the bridge had grown eerily quiet. Uhura stifled another sigh as her fingers began to twitch, beating out a familiar tune onto her console. The rhythm soothed her frayed nerves and she allowed her face to relax. Even now, after ticking like a clock for so many hours he was the only thing she could think about.

"It's all that I can still do."

Spock's soft low voice in her ear brought a smile to her face. For a while, she'd wondered how he always knew when she was thinking about their song, about him. At first she had assumed it was the bond, but soon began to realize that it was something that he always thought, had always thought about, would always think about.

There was no sweeter ballad ever composed.

* * *

Lyrics from Can't Do Without You by CARIBOU (I strongly suggest listening to the entire song. It is wonderful.)

 _I can't do without you_

 _And you're the only thing I think about (I can't do without you)_

 _It's all that I can still do (I can't do without you)_

 _And you know you're the one I dream about (I can't do without you)_

 _I couldn't do without you_

AN: This is my first published Star Trek fanfic. I hope I did it justice.


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